I certainly do not wish to live too long. It’s very expensive to live up to a ripe old age in Malaysia.

It’s a sad reality. I told my friends the brutal truth about having a .38 calibre pistol as a retirement plan. When money runs out, we can always shoot ourselves.

Actually, the sentence was not crafted by me…haha…I copied and pasted it – it was a blurb from another of Guardian’s website leading to the article.

I think the author of that sentence was not expressing a reality – more of the aura and romance surrounding weddings, brides, bridegrooms, etc. He was making a tongue-in-cheek comparison with the romantic view of brides and the ’seething brides’ who turned up to confront the shop owner.

There is a whole lot of romance surrounding weddings, isn’t it?

I am sure you are/will be caught up in it too when the time comes! :O)

‘Blushing brides’? now…there’s not many of those around any more, I have to agree…………

Well, yes…different people have different takes on what constitutes ethics- hence the black and white and grey. There is also then the process of application of ethics.

You may want to take a look at this……http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situational_ethics

Er…although I used words like ‘confession’, ‘contrite’, etc which I borrowed from religion, I really only wanted to talk about admitting a wrong to the wronged party. Perhaps I can rephrase it as ‘Admitting a wrong to someone I have wronged, apologising for the wrong, and feeling genuine remorse for it, and caring and loving enough to care about the consequences.’ ie ‘admitting to a wrong’ = ‘confession’, ‘remorse’ = ‘contrite.

I have actually left God out of this discussion; sorry for the confusion arising from my using those words.

Relationship, marriage, fidelity…and so on and so forth – we all struggle with it, don’t we? Sometimes it seems that it is the only worthwhile thing to be preoccupied with, other times we get all bleary and hope it just goes away and we ask ourselves is it worth the bother – the rest of it that comes clanking along with it.

Those couples who are able to stick with it – how lucky they are (of course, there is hard work involved, but then there are those who work just as hard but it all just turns upside down all the same).

There is one absolute that I would stand up for, and strive for, though – unconditional love. :0)

Are brides supposed to be feminine and demure?
And who determines that these are pleasant adjectives.

Men’s idealized notion of “a blushing bride”.

I agree that the person who confesses is most times under the pressure of truth-telling ie ‘getting off one’s chest’ the misdemeanor. It is the conscience that is pricking.

I think an act of confession is not just to stop the conscience from pricking, it is to elicit redemption for oneself.

In instances it will appear that the confession just transfers the burden to the wronged. The act of confession seems to say “There, I have done the right thing by confessing, now the burden is on you to do the right thing – to forgive me. I am absolved by my confession and no longer burdened to do the right thing. The hard part is on you now, not me.”

If the confessor stops at this, then actually there is no confession and there is little chance of redemption.

There is no redemption because there is an absence of contriteness.
It is a ‘cheap’ confession.

A confession that is accompanied by contriteness offers not only redemption for the confessor, but also personal growth for the party who is wronged. If such a confession is not done, there is no opportunity for personal growth for both parties.

Hence, a truly contrite confession is always preferred. A contrite confession includes thinking of the consequences of the confession to the well-being of the wronged party, and taking care of him/her after the confession.

What if it is felt that the wronged party may just go off the bend?
One can be idealistic and say whatever the consequences, a truly contrite confession is always preferred, and whatever the consequences – so be it, because the only right thing to do is a contrite confession.

One never know, of course.

Are you a subscriber to “situational ethics”?

I would say I am not, as there should be absolutes and ideals one subscribes to.

However, I would never condemn anyone acting otherwise than the absolute and the laid down and the ideal in a situation. I cannot carry the burden of judging someone who is in a situation I am not. Who knows – I may just do the same in the same situation, so I cannot be condemning others.

I guess that is why God is merciful and forgiving… and loving.

Hi Lillian,

I think what Mira might have meant is the ‘practice of honesty in situations’ that is ‘abstract’, not the word itself.

I don’t agree with Mira that not hurting people is a higher moral principle – practising morals will always hurt some people, including oneself – and is hurt so bad a thing it should be avoided at all cost, even to the extent of being dishonest?

I think that will start us down the slippery slope to deception.

Hurt is sometimes good – it helps growth. A little like getting an immunisation jab!

To avoid all hurt and to practise deception – is a deception in itself. Don’t ever be deceived, or practise deception!