Graham was fifteen when he was home with just his mother and her visitor. His mother had a fit and died as a result of it. For years thereafter, he felt he should have been able to do more to prevent his mother’s death. Guilt. He fell into depression as an adult.
Emotional shut down, self-pity were two of his defensive tools to cope. Then :
“I finally decided to change my mind.
Although I’d faced my depression I had steadfastly, from day one, refused to cite my mum’s death as the cause of any of my problems. It seemed too obvious, too complacent. Above all it felt too much like blaming her. It wasn’t the only reason but it was by far the major one, and to admit that was a huge relief. I allowed myself. It wasn’t her fault. But it had happened, and it had hurt.”
Read his story in full here.
Strange – yet how normal to everyone – the human mind and psyche.
I guess everyone has their own ’secret guilt’, of a ‘not having done enough’ moment/time of life.
Do you have one to share?
Life.
